Semantics: "Ex-smoker" vs. "Non-smoker"

I will use these terms as this blog unfolds and I need for you to understand what I mean by each of them. These are not universally accepted definitions, by the way. They are mine, and I define them only as a means of distinguishing one from the other—you will see they are very different people.

A non-smoker is one who has the mindset of someone who has never smoked.

She does not crave a cigarette when she gets nervous or scared, nor does she feel a need to smoke after eating or having sex. She may or may not be judgmental towards those who do smoke; either way, she neither needs nor wants cigarettes any more than you or I may need or want a robin’s egg omelet. This is the mindset that one who is contemplating quitting smoking must adopt if she is to be successful in her efforts.

An ex-smoker is a person who no longer smokes cigarettes but retains the mindset of one who does.

He proudly boasts of how he was able to summit the treacherous mountain peak of smoking cessation while slapping a nicotine patch on his arm and putting a pinch of snuff between his cheek and gum. Even if he uses no nicotine withdrawal aids the ex-smoker still craves a cigarette with a cocktail, a cup of coffee, when stressed or at any of the other times that used to trigger an urge to smoke.

The most significant difference between the “ex” and the “non” is this: the “ex” is at least 5 times more likely to fail in his efforts to quit. Admittedly, statistics for the effectiveness of different stop-smoking techniques are all over the board but I want you to consider this:

The ex-smoker believes he has given up something he loves.

He finds that painful and his brain will do everything it can to alleviate that pain. And what might that be? A return to smoking.

The non-smoker feels no pain, only gain.

She has adopted a belief that she does not smoke and has neither need nor desire to ever do so again. And that belief is reinforced every day she remains smoke free. It’s all in the mind.

Quotes to Consider:

"I used Skoal to quit smoking, as I figured that it was the lesser of 2 evils. I quit Skoal by using the nicotine gum, and found it quite do-able. The gum didn't work at all for me when I tried to quit smoking. I think it is a similar oral sensation to chewing snus, and that's why it worked in that scenario."(That's pathetic!)

"I quit cold too. In my case it simply took a change of mindset to think of myself as a non-smoker, not a smoker who was *trying* to quit"(That's the secret!)